Today I started reminiscing on the old times, usually when this happens a lot of you know it can get really dark. You start remembering times that you tried so hard to forget. I always ask myself though, why should I forget? Why should we block out everything bad that’s ever happened. One day it’s all going to resurface and it will need to be addressed. It is one of the most difficult things ever to do but they need to be faced head on. Not always at once, but it needs to be done. Today, I laughed. I smiled and I told myself all that bad stuff? followed with some of the best memories I have.
Bad memories are a part of our lives. We have all had those nights where you’re drinking with friends or you’re sitting with a wine glass in your hand and it’s gets to that stage, ‘why did this happen to me?’ ‘What did I do to deserve that?’ and all of a sudden you’re having a drunken heart to heart that will require tissues. Then the next thing you know, you’re laughing. You’re either laughing at the fact you’re crying or the fact you’re just at that drunken stage that you start to unload the world onto the person you’re with. Then you get the memories you can only remember half the story.
Our brains have a defence mechanism that for some of us cause us to black out. I used to black out all the time, the anger, the sadness and the fear. My mind would shut down and I wouldn’t remember anything. Then one day piece by piece it starts to come back. You’re probably asking yourself what the heck is this girl on about, sometimes I don’t even know myself! This time however it’s a case of our good memories? will always out weight the bad. Even if it was just something so simple as sitting with friends, family and just laughing. Forgetting the world even existed and just being in a moment of peace.
Anyone living with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ADHD etc.. our memories are important. They help us remember our journeys, how far we have come. Yeah a lot of us still have a long way to go and we know that but the memories we made on the way. I looked back today and I reminded myself why I do what I do. Exposing yourself on social media is not an easy thing to do, some make it look easy but it’s not. You open yourself up to ridicule and a lot of negativity but how you deal with it, will determine the outcome. Memories are powerful things, they have the ability to completely destroy you. They also have the ability to fuel your desire for recovery.
Use your bad memories as tools, fuel yourself with the passion you have inside to succeed, the recover and to live your life because sooner or later that bad memory will just be a memory. A memory you may never look back on again, if it’s been addressed. We all have parts of our lives that we have hidden in hope that nobody will ever find out. What about ourselves? We know? what are we meant to do, let it completely consume us? No. Talk about it, let it out, vent about it or write it down. Don’t hold onto it because these memories will consume you. It may not be today, tomorrow or anytime soon but the day will come.
Whilst reading this if any bad memories have came to mind? face them, tell yourself ‘No. You will not have the power to control me, you will no longer determine how I live my life and you are nothing more than a memory to be forgotten.’ Then allow yourself to feel and remember the good times. I remembered one memory today I’ll be telling my kids, myself and my two best friends were having drinks one weekend and we were the typical teenagers. Drinking shots after shots ready to party, one of my best friends? Complete lightweight. 2 can Dan as we say in Scotland, basically means it doesn’t take a lot to get drunk. Well, we had to carry my best friend to the bathroom and she fell.. knocking my shelves off the wall landing next to my toilet. I fell in the bath and my other best friend came through seen the state of us and fell to the floor in laughter.
Everything that night was just so funny to us, we genuinely had no cares in the world. The shelves were really light they didn’t hurt her!! She sat up and started laughing, I was still in the bath and that was us. We laughed and laughed for hours, it made me grin from ear to ear! Share your memories with others. Tell your story and know that bad memories only have so much control, they are not really in control! You are. You always will be. Memories, love, compassion, friendships and family. These are our strengths! Use them. Smash your goals and follow your dreams!! Make more memories. 🥂💅🏼